I just wanna say to all the broken friendships i have. I want it all back.. :(
First it's 'O' group, then we became the 'Rambutan' group. Now? Michelle and Mabel ain't friends anymore.. :( I really miss 'Rambutan' so much. so unchy much. Why did we even break in the first place? :( The two of you guys's friendship's problem started all because of a boy.. 2010-2011( starting year) our friendship was like the best of the best, i thought we would ended up the three'bff of 20106H. But.. i didn't know, everything turned out so sourly. I was caught in the between of you guys, then i take sides, my greatest regrets of all. I shouldn't have take sides. First i went to mabel, then to michelle, and to mabel again. Like i have no life, and of course, i ended up losing both of you. Mabel went for the malays, and michelle went for the lesser popular chinese group. So i kind of gave up on myself, i'm truly upset. All i wanted was to save this friendship, yet i ended up being the ones with no friends at all. That period was the toughest among all. And then, me and mabel's friendship turned sour, fought and stuffs. everything went totally wrong. And i don't know why i guess. I didn't ended 2010 with a nice ending i guess. During graduation we cried so badly, but now i realized. Do they even bother if i wasn't in their life right now? Ha-ha, i guess not. They can live perfectly without me. But i'd still love to go back to the times where 3 of us are together, just in our world, doing our own stupid stuffs, singing song, taking photos, having jokes. I really wanna go back to that moments, i know it's all impossible now since everybody turns sour. But, i still hope./
The three of us. Jasmine spread the gospel to four people, ended up only me and chooying went to Church. I really missed it so much. The three of us. Joking around & stuffs. Though i don't really feel much of any presence, but still. I enjoyed those times. We've grown so much. See the photos, first photo was when me and chooying first went to service. Second was when we are fellowshipping at orchard after service. Lastly, during fellowshipping after Easter day's service. All these, we've grown so much. Now i realized, me & Chooying's friendship turned sour. I don't even talk to her now, i'm not interpretating anything saying that she left me or anything. But then, i really hope we could be back to how we use to be last time, endless topics of talking, playing chopsticks. I miss all these. & to Jasmine.. i really hope the awkwardness between us could go away, you're one of the people that i'm most grateful to meet with. I know i'm not to you, but.. you are to me. I really hope, i could become better friends with you guys. I've been really a failure in friendships, but, i hope we could always be together. & Chooying, i definitely miss the jokes i have with you. I know you won't miss it anymore, eversince i've exploded that night. But, i still once again gave you my trust. But you didn't accept it. It's alright, but remember, i'll keep waiting&waiting, just for our friendship to truly become the one that are like the best & the most bonded one.
I miss these friendships so much, it's all gone now. I don't feel the presence of friends anymore, but i truly still love each & every of them, i'm sure.. super sure about that. Reason why i post all these? I just hope my friends see these. I really love&appreciate every one of them. I know i'm stupid enough to be like one sensitive+emotional shit last time, but i'm really trying to change. As you can see, i don't spam twitter. I don't even say anything when i felt left out. God changed me, and i don't wish to fight with you guys too. I'm truly upset.. with myself of course. If only i wasn't that much sensitive+emotional, my friends would all be by my side. I truly appreciates you guys, Michelle, Chylsee, Jasmine,..& more. You guys are like the friends i think about all day long.. But am i the one? Am i the one that you guys can speak without any worries? Am i the one you guys will turn to during a problem? I hope so.. One day. just one day. I'll keep hoping & have Faith in God. Thank you guys for all these wonderful memories, forever it'll be kept inside my heart. Love'you guys forever&ever.<3 Not forgetting N439 though i sometimes emo alot infront of them! I love you guys too!<3
