Recently.. there has been a lot of ups and downs. Been thinking so much... I could almost feel all the white hair popping out among my bush of black hair. (ok i'm sorry this sound ridiculously stupid but yeah) Like what I mentioned earlier, millions and millions of things happened. There was these two weeks where I couldn't think properly & damn, I had like a few restless nights. I could almost feel myself dying. Was so vexed everything went haywire in my mind. Couldn't even find the right words to describe it. Wanted to seek help badly but then not knowing how to because I have totally no idea what I was vexed over with. or vexed about for. It was really like a period of hell for me, I guess. No idea what was going through in my mind, only knowing that I can't fall asleep every day. And damn..( it has to happen during school time) Bad idea. bad bad idea.
Of course as usual. Each time my life feels like it has reached the highest point, certain people in my life starts changing and everything goes down the drain. ( Another reason why i'm particularly thankful for those who hasn't changed a single bit since I met them right from the very start) love those people endlessly.
Recently I find it so irritating for some people. Like they are just so spoilt & all, maybe because they had a good life. And maybe because they're always the center of the attention and they never knew how it was to have things done with ur own effort, without having the credits. Man that sucks totally. And finally now I know how it feels. It doesn't really matter if at the end of the day I get the credits or not, because clearly that wasn't my motive in the first place. I did it because I wanted, because I cared. And clearly, not all people appreciates it. When you tries ur best to give them all your love, eventually they will take advantage of it. ( Not all maybe, but some ) Which I find it extra irritating. If I actually puts in an effort to make you feel appreciated, who the heck are you to make me feel worthless and unworthy?
What's worse is when it comes from people you never expected from. Like why, especially when you know their darkest sides. Especially when you thought both of you came from at least a little bit of similar past. Especially when you thought, that like you, that person would help endlessly for you no matter what happens. Damn, it just really sucks isn't it, trusting the wrong person, realizing it. And then having to tolerate everything, because you don't want the damn thing to end. You don't want to let conflicts happen. But then once again, the person shows no efforts to appreciate. It's like you've just became their daily routine and they give no shit if you ever feel hurt or anything.
Just can't stand spoilt brats any more. Just because you're having a stress period in your life, doesn't mean all day you have to give people a damn black face or emotional moodswings that doesn't even have a reason to exist for in the first place.
PS./ These post is not referring to anybody, just my random rants/do not let assumptions take over, thankyou/
Okay, enough with rants. So practically school celebrated Rational Harmony day! Wore a Malay costume as usual :) Really really like Malays 's costumes! And it's amazing how they actually puts in an effort to wear the same colour/design costume every single year for Hari Raya. Major thumbs up!
unglam-ness overload, but i like.
ignore my awk face./too lazy to edit hahahaha/
YAY I'VE GOT CUTE CHEEKS
thankful for someone like her.❤❤❤
(Taken few weeks back during one of the Spartans outing)❤❤❤
(Taken on Wednesday during cellgroup dinner! at Liang court.)
(A month back or something?)
(Taken during a cellgroup bbq)
Was out with my bestie to shop at bugis!❤❤❤
Starting to wonder, what's exactly important for me? And what exactly do I need in my life. I guess the answers are simple. yet hard to find. But I'll wait, for I know the Lord has better plans for me in the future, not to harm me in any way, but for a better me. Thank You Jesus!!
